'What are you looking at?' 'Am I not allowed to look at whatever I want?' She smiled and he nodded almost imperceptibly. More to himself than to the woman at the back of him, but clearly visible in front of him in the cracked mirror, hanging on the thin wall made of bamboo and seaweed.
She felt weak when leaning towards the doorframe to the bathroom in which he was standing. She couldn't take her eyes from his and realized she had not been able to look into them earlier
The days went by, one by one. Her hands were aching from the pressure towards the handlebars but she tried to think of what one of the participants had said to her earlier. Pain is just in your head. Could it be like that? What about love then? Was that also something only in your head? Maybe, and in that case, what did it mean? The tarmac road never ended neither did the kilometres in front of her. She had lost him somewhere after day three. He was tired, they all were of course but she knew herself pretty well and felt comfortable every morning she rolled out her bike towards a new day ahead. She didn't really understand how she never hardly felt it would be a hard day, even if she had to go 250 kilometres before the nightfall. She thought back of the other day when he still was there together with her. They seemed to be synchronized whether it was about cycling or eating. Some of the participants seemed to think that food was something that would take your power down, she didn't understand why it should. But with him it was different. He seemed to enjoy the food stops as much as she did.
They left the hotel one by one. Finally, she was the only one left from the cycling group. And it became Christmas eve before she took her bags and caught a flight to go south by the coast. Her hands were aching and she felt exhausted just by getting up from the bed and into the shower before breakfast. Onboard the plane she almost regrets her choice to stay in this busy country. It seemed like everyone was going for the same flight, for the same direction and she was the only one European style. Normally she felt happy by talking to people bur right here and now she just tried to hide through the check-in lines and security queues.
Chapter 4
Her worries had been meaningless. Of course they saw each other as soon as their eyes met. She felt embarrassed and so did he. She knew he had risked everything by coming here and still he obviously thought it was worth it. They hugged each other in a clumsy way, she thought that they might look like small kids being caught by doing something they weren't allowed to deal with. She tried to tell herself they were grown-ups with their own wills and own decisions but she felt a sting of bad conscience hovering above her head like a stubborn mosquito.
They went to the car without saying much. She was the one babbling to keep the awkward silence away. She had the impression he tried to push himself as much as he could towards the car door not wanting to come close to her by mistake. She almost smiled inside at his shyness and it made her glad at the same time. He wasn't anyone who would force herself upon her and she liked it. The crickets were singing like crazy when they finally got out of the car. She asked herself if they were trying to warn her or if they sang out of happiness. She felt the eyes from the receptionist when they left the lobby and was walking towards her little hut. She decided to keep her back straight and not being ashamed of herself or of him.
They left his small luggage and went down to the beach. It was totally dark and maybe that's why they were brave enough to hold each other's hands. No one could see it, not even the two of them. She was surprised to find herself so confident walking in the dark night with this stranger. The words were flowing easily between them as they had known each other for a long, long time. The sound from the waves was calming her mind and she felt she could continue walking forever. When they were back at their little resort they took a chai out on the veranda. She loved the sweet taste blended with spices. She looked at him and thought to herself that maybe this was a sign of themselves; sweet and spicy. Or as chocolate and vanilla. Or as snow and sun. No doubts they at least were their biggest contrasts but all these differences seemed to be melted together to some mysterious whole.
She smiled to herself by all these silly thoughts. This would probably just end up as a nice story to look back to further on in life. She should not put too many feelings into it because she would only get hurt. She damned herself for being such a practical, unromantic creature but this was the way she was and maybe she had to just accept it and just enjoy the moments together. Here and now is all you have anyway, right?
They went inside the little hut for the night. He asked if he should sleep at the floor on the extra mattress she had asked for. She could see he was stressed about the situation and she decided to just walk towards him and take him in her arms. What if he would put her away? She hesitated for a second but her body was already there before she could stop herself. Her worries were of no need. She could feel him relaxing when she held her and he kept his arms around her and time stood still and she felt her knees shaking just slightly. Nothing else was existing there and then. Only the two of them, two lonely souls from two different parts of the world. And their first kiss was natural like nothing and strong as a volcano and comforting like water after a thirsty day out in the drying sun. His lips were soft and wet and surprisingly strong, their tongues were hunting each other like hungry beasts and she could feel their hearts beating and screaming for each other and still, it was calm as a summer breeze that could only be found up north where she came from. This was a moment of perfection and she wished she could stop the time from hunting them towards the separation she already knew was coming.