Her worries had been meaningless. Of course they saw each other as soon as their eyes met. She felt embarrassed and so did he. She knew he had risked everything by coming here and still he obviously thought it was worth it. They hugged each other in a clumsy way, she thought that they might look like small kids being caught by doing something they weren't allowed to deal with. She tried to tell herself they were grown-ups with their own wills and own decisions but she felt a sting of bad conscience hovering above her head like a stubborn mosquito.

They went to the car without saying much. She was the one babbling to keep the awkward silence away. She had the impression he tried to push himself as much as he could towards the car door not wanting to come close to her by mistake. She almost smiled inside at his shyness and it made her glad at the same time. He wasn't anyone who would force herself upon her and she liked it. The crickets were singing like crazy when they finally got out of the car. She asked herself if they were trying to warn her or if they sang out of happiness. She felt the eyes from the receptionist when they left the lobby and was walking towards her little hut. She decided to keep her back straight and not being ashamed of herself or of him.

They left his small luggage and went down to the beach. It was totally dark and maybe that's why they were brave enough to hold each other's hands. No one could see it, not even the two of them. She was surprised to find herself so confident walking in the dark night with this stranger. The words were flowing easily between them as they had known each other for a long, long time. The sound from the waves was calming her mind and she felt she could continue walking forever. When they were back at their little resort they took a chai out on the veranda. She loved the sweet taste blended with spices. She looked at him and thought to herself that maybe this was a sign of themselves; sweet and spicy. Or as chocolate and vanilla. Or as snow and sun. No doubts they at least were their biggest contrasts but all these differences seemed to be melted together to some mysterious whole.

She smiled to herself by all these silly thoughts. This would probably just end up as a nice story to look back to further on in life. She should not put too many feelings into it because she would only get hurt. She damned herself for being such a practical, unromantic creature but this was the way she was and maybe she had to just accept it and just enjoy the moments together. Here and now is all you have anyway, right?

They went inside the little hut for the night. He asked if he should sleep at the floor on the extra mattress she had asked for. She could see he was stressed about the situation and she decided to just walk towards him and take him in her arms. What if he would put her away? She hesitated for a second but her body was already there before she could stop herself. Her worries were of no need. She could feel him relaxing when she held her and he kept his arms around her and time stood still and she felt her knees shaking just slightly. Nothing else was existing there and then. Only the two of them, two lonely souls from two different parts of the world. And their first kiss was natural like nothing and strong as a volcano and comforting like water after a thirsty day out in the drying sun. His lips were soft and wet and surprisingly strong, their tongues were hunting each other like hungry beasts and she could feel their hearts beating and screaming for each other and still, it was calm as a summer breeze that could only be found up north where she came from. This was a moment of perfection and she wished she could stop the time from hunting them towards the separation she already knew was coming.

When she reached the exotic destination they were met by an enormous heat and humidity and a lot of fully dressed Santa Clauses who sang Christmas song with a never-ending energy. She almost admired them. She could feel everything but Christmas vibes in the sticky heat. When she finally had her luggage from the belt she went out to the driver a good friend had supported her with. The air condition in the car felt so revealing that she forgave the driver who probably had got his license only through bribes. She was surprised to find herself so badly negative, maybe it was the usual post cycling race stress that had sat in. She had felt it every time she had finished a race together with other riders. The loneliness which ate itself into every fibre of your body and mostly the soul. Maybe it would feel better tomorrow.

The little hut by the ocean was nothing special but clean with a shower and a small veranda facing the garden. Here she would sit and do nothing for at least a week. After that, she had no plans. The situation felt even more awkward than before. What's wrong with me, she asked herself while thinking of everything she had back home. She finally had to decide to just relax and enjoy the water, some great food, enormous amounts of time for all the books that had been kept in her bag since she left home. She decided to feel blessed and told herself she was worth this paradise after doing that crazy ride a few days earlier. Her eyelids felt heavy and one day after another she allowed herself to fall asleep wherever and whenever her body told her so.

New years eve came closer. She didn't talk to hardly anyone but the guy serving her breakfast, lunch and dinner. One of these days she had a message from him. It was some pictures he had taken during one of the days they had ridden together. Well, honestly it was more than just some pictures, it was some pictures that told everything about them. They looked cool, strong and sexy and she thought to herself why she hadn't kissed him there and then in the beautiful evening light. Of course, she couldn't do it just like that but now looking at the two of them, smiling towards the camera she realized it must have been obvious to anyone that there was a connection between them. A stream that closed everyone else out. Or was this only in her head? She couldn't tell but felt happy when looked at the pictures. She smiled for herself and decided to keep him as a beautiful memory, that was all he could be.

She wrote back to him, just to say a short thank you. She knew pretty well that he had his family life back in that little town far from here. He answered at once and even if she thought she shouldn't she couldn't stop herself from continuing the conversation. He asked her when she was planning to leave his country. He asked her what she was planning for all alone. And he asked her if he could come. She couldn't say no, she didn't want to say no and he bought a ticket, half the price of his monthly income. She felt a bit ashamed when she asked at the reception for an extra bed for a friend because she knew that they knew it was just an excuse to make it look proper. What a way to start a new year. So totally wrong and nothing but absolutely right. She felt both happy and tensed when she counted the hours for the evening flight. She realized she didn't know him at all and she knew he had already touched her soul.

The driver came by sunset and they started to go this bent roads the opposite direction this time. She was glad he didn't speak hardly any English so that she could stay alone with her thoughts while they were reaching the airport minute by minute. She had sent him a picture because she realized he had only seen her with cycling clothes on and that colourful helmet on the top. The few times she had taken it off, her hair had been dirty and hidden under a bandana. Maybe he wouldn't recognize her at all? Her legs were shaking when she walked towards the doors this lukewarm evening the first day of a new year. The first day of a new life.

This was how her thoughts shifted forth and back while the morning turned to lunchtime, to tea time, to dawn. Sometimes she did change a few words with other cyclists she made company with for shorter or longer distances. But it never turned out to be like it was with him. She was surprised he didn't show up but at least he tried to call her now and then to try to catch her. She never picked up the phone in time and she was too unsure of riding by herself in this enormous country. Maybe she should stop and wait for him, but in that case, what would she tell the other ones? They would probably not even let her stay alone by the roadside waiting for how long? She couldn't even tell. Better then to keep on riding.

Finally, the last day showed up and it was time to reach what they had been going for now for six long days. Only 160 kilometres were ahead of them when she woke up the last morning. It was a beautiful day, the desert chill felt far away and the humidity from the coast side had started to address itself to them. No need for an extra layer of clothes anymore and nature had gone from brown to red to lushly green with colourful flowers decorating the nature around them.

She saw him already from a long distance. He was standing on the side, taking shelter from the sun beneath a huge tree. He had something in his hand to eat. She felt like a big smile when she stopped and asked how he was. Strange enough he didn't look happy at all like he didn't care about the fact that he would soon have put 1500 kilometres behind in only six days. How was he even able not to smile? 'Are you coming with me?' 'No, you go ahead. I will come later. I'm too tired'

She felt weak when leaning towards the doorframe to the bathroom in which he was standing. She couldn't take her eyes from his and realized she had not been able to look into them earlier, despite all the time they had spent together. How long was it now since they met, that crowded afternoon close to something called Green Park. Such an ironic name in the middle of a crowded, messy, stinky Delhi where the fog laid like a lid over the bleach sun. How long had it been? It had been 25 days now since they met the first time. If you can even talk about the meeting when you catch up behind a person and the only thing you see is a pair of perfectly pedalling legs.

Because that is the truth. She hadn't seen him in the crowd of never-ending handshakes the day before the adventure started. To her, they all looked the same and it was hard to even think when her mind was mostly focusing on having enough to eat, planning what to bring and not the least, having enough of sleep before is should all begin. Now, looking back, she remembered she had said hello in the chilly evening when they all had finished the first day, the first 270 kilometers. But there and then it was all about eating, taking care of the bicycle, socializing and trying to go to bed as soon as possible to catch up as much energy as possible for the next crazy day ahead. And the next. And the next... It seemed like an ocean of days ahead, but her knowledge from earlier ultra races was to just take one day at a time, trying not to take a too big bite of it at once, it would only make her feel sick.

The thick fog in the early morning allowed no views what so ever when she left the Pink City behind. The desert winter made her shiver as she tried to wake up her numb legs. Better not to think too much but focus on the fact that it would be only one hour or two before she should stay for the first chai of the day. Nothing tasted as a morning chai after warming up. She didn't know where or with whom she would share that cup this morning. The people she knew briefly was already far behind her and she felt a bit lonely out on the crowded highway heading south through this majestic country.

And then she was behind him. The man with the shaved, glimmering legs clock working in the sun that had pushed the last veils of mist away. She could already feel how the heat was slowly starting to warm up the left side of her body.

Without asking she decided to take the position behind. The man had a friend in front who's back wheel he was almost touching. Without asking for permission she decided to be number three in the row. Maybe they would start to go faster when they noticed her in the back. She wanted to go fast but not at a speed that would make her hit the wall already by lunchtime.

It was her shadow that revealed her to him. The morning sun had her shadow go ahead of her side and he kept throwing a glimpse at it so regularly she almost thought it was some kind of ticks. Or he might be irritable of her sneaking up behind them just like that.

• I can go up in the front bahia, she shouted all of a sudden. The two men nodded and she raised the speed to be in the lead. “Take it easy”, she told herself, perfectly aware of how easy it was to try to shine and show strange, especially towards these two who seemed to be full of energy and purposefulness. After a few kilometers she felt back, one of the men took the lead. From the third to second to first. Third, second, first. How she loved this dance of cycling! These moments when everything feels possible, the road is ahead of you, the distance doesn't matter and you know in your heart that this will continue even tomorrow. And this is all there is.

If she had known how it would all have ended, maybe she should have left him with his friend there and then. Said thank you for some hours of good riding but let it all stopped there. She didn't and he didn't and as the kilometers went on beneath them they suddenly noticed it was only the two of them left. None of them had even noticed the loss of his friend.

After hours which felt like minutes, they shared their first meal together. The dhaba was out in nowhere and in front of it an iron coloured mountain reaching for the clear blue sky. They sat on the braided bed, the cycling shoes thrown on the cement floor and they shared a bottle of coke. The parata gave new energy and he told her about secrets and sorrows he had kept hiding inside for so many years. And despite he looked a bit shy and careful not to talk too much, she felt like she knew him since long time back. Since a time before that none of them could remember with logic but with their subconscious minds.

Afterwards, she would remember it as a homecoming moment. Nothing like a storm or a headless passion, only the feeling of finding what could be the missing part without even knowing you were missing it or exactly what was missing.

But dreams have to give way for reality and reality those days where the fact that most of the road was ahead of them. To keep on pedalling was their only mission and they had to leave the talk of life and sorrow and go back in the saddles for many miles ahead. But as soon you have shared the joy of eating together you can't just leave it as nothing had happened. You have to look for new opportunities, new chances to stop by the road that will give you time to dig deeper into the soul you've just met.

And she soon found out that he didn't like chai the way she did. And she almost stared in fascination at the way he poured out the gravy over the rice and ate it with such a precision and sensuality that she never had seen before. She thought about what the way of eating could tell about a man. If he could enjoy food in this passionate way, how would he enjoy the taste of a woman? This was all forbidden thoughts, she knew it perfectly well but from the way he asked for food and how he filled his thin body with it to find power enough for finishing the day, she already knew the answer but also that she would never be able to tell him so. Because he was forbidden fruit and so was she. Love on the other hand never asks for permission. She was old enough to know it never does.

The days after their first meeting they tried to stay together, tried to find their own dance across flat fields, dusty roads, climbings towards beautiful viewpoints, rolling down the hills in a speed that would have killed them if the slightest detail not had been on their side. And how they didn't care about haunting the death in its heals, playing with it just to enjoy the fullest of life. Nothing stopped them as they behaved like children without any thoughts of tomorrow or even what would show up behind the next curve.

She remembered the laughs, the confusing moment when they chose to turn left instead of continuing straight ahead in a crazy city which name she had forgotten the same second he finished telling it to her. And how she went like crazy downhill towards that city and how she turned her head to look for him as some kind of saviour when the traffic turned up to be too much for her Nordic mind. By the red light, he came up behind her. Many times after that she would return to that special day, that special moment when he took the lead and she knew she could trust him to take her through the chaos with an obvious trust in his experience from a country where everything can show up in front of you in just a glimpse of a second.

When the night came she almost had a break down when they in darkest darkness had to go 20 more kilometers than was planned for. But again he maid her feel strong by showing his weakness in the open. She heard herself telling him how strong they were and how 20 was nothing compared to the 240 they had already put behind that same day. He listens to her and she also listens to her own voice to be able to find the last pieces of strange that might be there within themselves. With the dark night like a blanket upon them, they went on to finish what was left of the distance. The forest around them was like a thick wall of fear but it couldn't frighten them as they stayed together. When the light from the small hotel finally came in front, it was like reaching Nirvana. If Nirvana has got a taste it must be that one of sweet taste when you have done more than you would normally expect.

She sat by the table when he came down the stairs, crossing the restaurant with his hair washed, his legs hidden in some baggy jeans. He didn't give her the slightest look and her heart went down in the basement. This was it, she thought. Everything she had thought of during the day might have been only imaginations of her tired mind, she thought. She finished her meal as quickly as possible, said goodnight to some of the cyclists still awake and hungry for more food. What she didn't know was the fact she didn't have enough of imagination to realize she herself was like a dream to him that he didn't dare to touch. Too afraid it would disappear if he even tried.